The Water Sommelier

In a ridiculous turn of events, a Water Sommelier is now a thing. Martin Riese, who originates from Germany, spends his life tasting, reviewing and simply loving high-quality H20. He even provided a restaurant in Los Angeles a ‘water menu’ to go alongside their more traditional wine menu with waters ranging from $8 to $20.

So, what on earth? He talks us through the reasoning and science behind his role in an online video in which we see him attending water-themed events, festivals, competitions and more wish-wash than you could ever imagine. Meanwhile he talks through his love of water, how to taste it, and we see multiple people taking themselves comically seriously as they swill water around their mouths – if you want your stomach to be knotted with irritation, or just something to make you giggle, watch the video at 4:30.

To be quite frank, it seems utterly ridiculous. Some may call wine sommeliers pretentious, but this takes it to a whole new level, and I’m not sure I could ever fathom going out for dinner with someone who wanted to talk me through the subtleties, tones and flavours of the water we were drinking. Perhaps I’m being particularly uncultured, but I can’t take this seriously.

To quote the video: “Today we celebrate water. Water is not just water. We do respect food, we do respect wine, and I think it’s just about time we respect water as much as the other two”.

Scientifically-proven truth? Or pretentious nonsense? I'll let you make your mind up. My standing, however, remains pretty clear; utter drivel.